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I am become time, the destroyer of dreams.” (alt. translation Bhagavad Gita ) “A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent.” (R. Oppenheimer)
I knew my world would not be the same. It must have been over twenty years ago when I first heard about Snake Dike. I can still picture the scene. A girl sitting next to me in racquet ball class was talking about her upcoming summer climbing pilgrimage to Yosemite. I was dumbfounded. First off, you could actually get in a car and leave Ohio. Secondly, you could wind up in a far away National Park, climbing on an iconic route up Half Dome. Her answer to my query was equally surprising – “Sure, come to the rock gym with us to train up and you’re welcome on the trip.” I didn’t go. It would have been way too much drama since I was already dating my future ex-wife, but the seed was planted. When I started climbing for real a few years later, I envisioned myself completing Snake Dike. This route has been my muse, my tormentor, and my unicorn for my entire adult life, but I am now ready to let it go.
The Law of the Vital Few
In 1896, Vilfredo Pareto observed that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the people. That was the first recorded Pareto distribution. Since then, this 80/20 rule has been applied to a multitude of situations that have nothing to do with land ownership in Italy. Could it also describe dreams and dreaming? You betcha.
Power Dreams
The very act of dreaming is powerful. I didn’t spend that summer in Yosemite, but, as soon as I graduated, I packed the wife, kid, cat, dog and everything we owned into a van and drove west out of Ohio. My graduation plan was literally to live in a van down by the river near the base of Snoqualmie Falls. Amazingly, that worked and I was quickly recruited from the prime Seattle aerospace market into the deserts of Tucson Arizona. I cut my teeth climbing on Mt Lemmon and Cochise Stronghold. I became good enough to follow Snake Dike but never confident enough to lead it. I needed to find a lead climber if I was going to capture my unicorn. My immediate climbing group made several trips to Yosemite, but they wanted to push their limits on the famous, sheer granite slabs that would have completely kicked my ass. They had no interest in bagging a long route with one 5.7a traverse. Soon, caving, hiking, and mountain biking overtook climbing, and my harness hung empty for a while. My childhood dream of Snake Dike never led me up Half Dome, but it did lead me to a lifetime of adventure and travel. Power Dreams are the 20% of your dreams that shape 80% of your life.
The Nightstalker Killed My Climbing Dreams
My final climb was Nightstalker, a route up Owl Rock in Cochise Stronghold East. It’s a consistent 5.9 with lots of alligator skin and chicken heads to help you up. I hadn’t climbed in years, but I ended up living on my climbing buddy’s couch (remember the earlier reference to the future ex-wife?) and it seemed like a good idea to head out with him that day. The single pitch, 120’ climb would have been a lot of fun when I was trained up. Instead, it was ugly, really ugly. Not like people got hurt ugly, but I rope dogged big time. I kept calling “take” until I was being pulled up the face and eventually topped out. The exit is a beautiful free hanging rappel off the backside of the slab. I didn’t even switch to rappel at the top because I hadn’t earned it. This last climb ended with me being lowered off the route like a limp sack of potatoes.
Acceptance
Acceptance is the final stage of grief. While you are grieving the death of your dreams remember this…don’t worry, it will be ok. You’ll be better for it in the end. The Pareto Principle says so. There is nothing wrong with feasting on low hanging fruit since 80% of your dreams can be accomplished with 20% of the effort. Easy dreams can be accomplished with a 4/1 dream to effort ratio. Hard dreams… The ones on the wrong side of 80/20 have a 1/4 dream to effort ratio. This means you can do 16 easy dreams for every hard one.
For example, today I live in Pacific Beach. I can bike my surfboard to the beach or head a couple miles up the coast to dive at La Jolla Shores. These dreams are now easy since my path has led me here. They are achievable but no less worthwhile. Alex in Wanderland came halfway across the world to go on a dive trip that embarked less than two miles away from my house. Being a surfer and a diver were hard dreams in Tucson. My secret trick is to keep changing things up, so you have a fresh set of easy to achieve dreams that are actually worth doing. The danger of hanging on to every little dream is stagnating in the bargaining phase. You will fight your aging, your location, and even your actual interest level as you toil with the hard stuff. You could even pass into the depression phase of dream death.
Accept. Let go. Live the good life. Dreams are not destination unto themselves. They are lanterns that lead the way into the darkness. Walking across a featureless void to a distant light can be daunting. Dream early. Dream often and achieve your dreams. Let your dreams bask you in their light as you explore the path they illuminate. Most of of all, don’t be surprised if that path leads you into a beautiful dream not yet dreamt.
Photo credits
Snake Dike: Chris McNamara
Cochise East: Boodge Nomchompski
Rap off Nightstalker: Christian
I love your mentality – and that you can achieve 16 dreams for every hard one! It’s opened up a whole new way to look at the world!
It really is does open up the world if you buy into the program.
Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking article. Your statement that dreams are the lanterns that lead into the darkness is very powerful and inspiring.
Thanks. The world can be a very dark place but it is your dreams that lead you through it.
I always have thought that if you can dream it then you can achieve it. It’s all about preparation and a plan. Your post is a great reminder of this for me.
Absolutely. The Pareto Principle really is particularly important in the planning and preparation area.
Your photos make the article come alive but more so the words. Congrats on achieving another dream as a writer!
Thanks Carol. I am actually at a loss for words now. It means a lot to get recognition at this stage in our career.
Great post. Dreams ay not always come how you expected, but great to make the most of what is going on.
A very good observation. You can grow from every situation you find yourself in.
Wise words of advice. But did you mean to say dreams are lanterns that lead the way out of the darkness (not into the darkness)? I know what you mean and it’s a nice analogy. Everyone needs dreams and goals to pursue.
In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness. Most people work to build a home that is full of light so suppose their lanterns lead home. For us, we dream of exploring. I think it’s our wanderlust gene. Our lanterns lead outwards into the darkness. Our dreams very much take us away from home.
A lot of food for thought after reading this! The 16 smaller dreams theory is really interesting and can change your attitude and perspective I guess. Thinking about it achieving your small goals and dreams can keep your hopes up and make you happy along the way. It will also push you to achieve much more.
Absolutely! Success, achievement, and general positivity tend to attract more of the same into your life.
I have never looked at the Pareto principle in achieving dreams although I am sure it is somewhat accurate. Time and experience shapes a person and dreams change, you don’t necessarily have to “let go” it but realize that the dreams of yesterday may not be the dreams of today and accept that reality and not feel guilt or regret simply because you and hat is important to you have changed.
I life free of guilt and regret is a great way to start. That kind of baggage is hard to move forward with. Great point about not letting go but simply moving on in a new direction.
Lots of food for thought, especially for a fellow outdoor adventure lover 🙂
Indeed, from time to time the tree of adventuring needs to be pruned with the blood of patriots. Wait, I’m mixing my metaphors…. Glad you enjoyed the post.